For those of you who are on track with my entries this next entry will be an overlap of the deleted scenes from my entry “Relapse”. And for those of you who are a beginner reader to My Scroll I will give you a quick overview of my missing link entry of the entry I titled “Relapse”. In short, my entry titled “Relapse” consisted of me moving onward after my Mothers passing, taking on some new challenges, trying to keep up with my college courses, picking up smoking pot again, graduating, and then quitting smoking pot. Now we are caught up and proceed to move onward to my next entry. I had trouble drafting in my head this next entry to My Scroll because so much had happen during this time, so I decided to break it up into two entries. My next entry will be titled “Happily Ever After?” Yes, you read that right, with a question mark. Please note, the entry titled “Happily Ever After?” will be in two parts.
As some of you know I spent a lot of time searching the internet. I’d research articles for an upcoming paper due the fallowing week for class. I research stocks because I liked to deal with money. I loved to search different philosophical and psychological figures. And when I was free of homework and sometimes bored I would search different profile on America Online, ultimately females. So, after I graduated I procrastinated a lot anticipating what to do next, and while I fooled around anticipating I spent more time searching the profiles on America Online.
There was one profile that stood out. It belonged to a female much younger then myself. Although, to this day she would still deny ever putting it in her profile; however, the thing that attracted my attention is that she wanted to be a nurse or a midwife. The profile was maturely written with a little sarcasm that hinted her playful sense of humor. I contemplated whether I would send here an instant message thinking she would not respond. A few days went by and I finally worked up the guts to send her an instant message. Drums were rolling and my heart was pounding, and next thing I know she responded. We only talked for a few minutes because she was at work, but she said she would talk to me when she got home. When she got home we chit chatted getting to know each other. After a few weeks of chatting online we decided to meet for the first time. She was very adorable. She was very kind and understanding. She was willing to help me with what I needed. To say the least, she was an angel.
After she got to my house, we talked for a little bit before heading to bed. She was tired because she had worked that day before boarding a flight to Los Angeles. I was tired because I was a nervous wreck because of all the anticipations wandering in my mind. In the morning we got up and went to my favorite place for breakfast before we set foot on our little adventure around the city. I showed her all the popular places, sites, beaches, and parts that people go to. We had a really nice time. I felt bad the whole time because she was on foot and I was on wheels. That night we watched a movie called “Don Juan Demarco” before heading to bed.
The next morning was very hard for me. It was time for her to go back home. I didn’t want her to go. We had such a wonderful time, and I was not ready face reality that she would be gone in a couple hours. I had a great fear that I would never see her again. The moment had come that it was time for my sister to give her a ride to the airport. Before she got into the car she gave me a huge. She was really quiet as she walked to the car, slowly getting in looking out the window giving me a forceful smile over the sadness at the thought as leaving. I felt exactly the same way. I wanted to cry at the thought I’d never see her again. A smile with tears in my eyes I gave her, but she could not see because she was blinded from my tears by the screen door I stood behind as we waved at each other.
A few hours went by, waiting patiently at my computer for her to pop up on my buddy list. I was anxious. I was a nervous wreck all over again. I was sitting there wondering if she will ever talk to me again. Then, all of the sudden, “Ebufster” popped up on my buddy list. Yes, that was her screen name. My heart was racing like the train on one of those original “Superman” episodes on television. My mind was playing tricks on itself, anticipating all the things that could go wrong.
“Hi Steve”, she first said. I jumped as my heart dropped filling up with joy of feeling butterflies inside of me at the sound effect of the instant massager as it popped up. I had goose bumps at the sight of her screen name. After exchanging a few hi’s and how are you’s she ask me: “do you want to take this further?” I was floored. It was what I hoped for, a future with her. I closed eyes and said “thank you”. I didn’t know who I thanking. I really didn’t know I had the ability to capture a heart in such a way. I replied, “I had hopes that we could.
After chatting with her for a few weeks she paid me a surprise birthday visit. I was totally surprised. I could not believe it. I was coming out of the bathroom sitting down into my chair, and here she comes sneaking up behind me. She slowly put her arms around me from behind. I didn’t even know who it was. I had my hopes who I wanted it to be. I slightly turned my head using my peripheral vision to see who it was. Is that you, I said, with surprised tone. It was her it was the person I hoped it would be. I was so happy. But this time it was nicer, she brought her car.
We went everywhere. We went to places in town that I wanted to take her the first time she came to see me but it was too far to walk. We went to different places out of town before settling for a dinner and a movie. It was such a nice birthday weekend she gave me and I cherish every moment we had. Sunday comes, and it was time for her to go home. All those emotions of sadness came floating back into my conscious. I didn’t want her to go.
The next month was her birthday. She came down to pick me up to take me to her house to meet her family. She has a big family and wanted them to meet me. I was pretty self-conscious about my appearance and my speech. My mother always taught me not to worry about what other people think of me, therefore, I kept that In the back of my mind. When we got to her house, the small road we had to take to get to her house looked like a scene from The Blair Witch Project. The trees on both sides of the small road were for the apple orchid she lived on. The first person to greet us when we first get there was her mom. I felt most comfortable meeting her mom because I had been chatting with her online. Her mom was very sweet to me and very talkative to me. The rest of her family was very kind to me, they all saw me for the person I am. I ended up staying there and never went back home.
I had a little secret that I only knew about. I planned to ask her to marry me on her birthday. On the morning of her birthday I woke up pondering on whether it was day or time to propose to her. Looking at face and watching her sleep, I still couldn’t believe I was this lucky, I still thought it was a dream that was ongoing and I could not wake up. It was just becoming daylight watching her slowly stretch her way awake. When she slowly opened her eyes I whispered “happy birthday”. She slowly lite up a smile as she consciously absorbed what I had said. I then asked her, “would you like your present now?” she said “yes” with a nodding smile. I had her reach for my duffle bag. Without looking, I reached down into the bag and pulled out a small black suede box. I handed the box to her with smile and a uttered birthday wish. “Happy Birthday Emma.” With her lying next to me she slowly opened the little suede box, then I uttered “will you marry me?” Slightly holding my breath, she turned and looked at me uttering, “YES”.
